If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean they have to be together right now.
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- nail polish talk & collection
- diary updates & notes
- concealer rave (it won't stop)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011 , 9:16 PM
⇨personal thoughts & opinions (exclusive)
today's post will be very personal :)
all of these thoughts are my own.
school - i still can't believe how fast times flies by ... next year in April,
i'll be wearing that gown proudly posing on my commencement day.
it's been a tough 3.5 years :) but i'm glad i'll be done before everyone else.
which means that i can quickly do what i always wanted to do - a forensics MD :)
graduating faster than others sucks that i won't be able to celebrate it with my friends,
but i don't think that'll be an issue because i know we'll all get there someday :)
summer - SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA that is where i'm going!
at first i made all these plans to meet up my friends from HS but didn't work out.
they were all busy with work or church camps which BLOWS. i know.
but that will be an opportunity for me to travel by myself, be independent.
open my eyes to see different things.
i'll be going with my little sister (16) & we'll have the greatest trip ever.
diet - sad to say & admit this but i will have to say honestly that i have gained weight.
a lot of weight. since i have entered college, i have gained a total of around 12-14 kg...
i know it's my fault to not be careful :(
& it's true how college really fcks your weight up.
i have to honestly admit again that i have never been considered 'skinny'
in my life ever, before. i have always been the 'chubby fat' girl.
it hurts, a lot. i was naturally born 'bigger' than other kids.
even though my friends have always been nice, & i never get teased.
but i know what happens behind my back. i know what is happening.
i know how people are looking at me. and judging me from my looks.
and i know how the world these days react to someone who is 'heavy'
my parents & family have always been the supportive type & they say that
what matters is the 'inside' but these days, it seems as if the
'inside' doesn't matter anymore.
i'm not saying that i don't like myself. trust me, i do.
i respect myself. & i like how i am. but i'm doing this for my own health.
i'm doing this so once, my mom can buy me dresses that i can wear without altering it,
for once i can be considered 'healthy' not 'overweight'.
i decided dieting around 2 months ago &
managed to loose now 5 kg ... (7 from my maximum weight)
it's not a lot but i'm doing it the very healthy way. i control what i eat & drink.
count my calories & do regular exercises. there's still another big 10 kg left to go.
but i think i can do it, no, i will reach my goal :)
& no, i am not doing this just to 'fit' in
but i have learned what being 'overweight' is like for the past 20 years
& now it's time for me to know what being 'healthy' is like
i hope all of you can support me through this big change in my life
love you always <3